Excerpt from my book: LEGACY

Frank moves towards the door - his heart pounding heavily against his rib cage - one very short step at a time, beads of sweat break across his forehead and trickle down his face, flushing his eyes, he blinks intermittently. He glances around furtively, his hands shake violently, and he feels faint. His lungs collapse slowly, overworked by the increased supply of adrenaline speeding through his veins. He listens to a sound screaming in his head, the sound of a thousand running horses. He takes a step back and stumbles. He holds the wall on his left-side, his eyes closed tight. He leans against the wall and shut his ears with his shaking hands. He struggles to block out the massive sound of running hooves; he turns to his right-side, eyes still closed tight, the sound gets louder and stronger and closer. He turns around sharply, opens his eyes, and a thousand ferocious galloping horses slam into him - crushing him under their hooves. He screams out loud, flailing wildly, as he struggles to sit up. A pair of strong hands grab his shoulders, he opens his eyes - grimy sweat pouring down his body - he looks up at John, holding him down on his bed. It is a dream.


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Location:2nd Ave,New York,United States

CHANGE IS INEVITABLE

President Barrack Obama, the man, has successfully re-intimated the world with the all too important word: change. Please pardon my preoccupation with all things Barrack Obama. I can not help but marvel at his awesome accomplishment. The man came like a quiet but powerful whirlwind in the middle of the night and swept across the United States of America, God's Own Country, the most powerful country in the world; like an inferno, and changed the nation's history forever. He carved a massive new chapter in the annals of the United States of America. An incredible feat no doubt! But his becoming president of the most powerful nation of the world is not the wonderment. In my opinion, the real astonishment is his impact on every living human being alive today all across the world--male, female, and transvestite. This is an average unassuming 'regular' man, an unsung man who sprung out of nowhere to the very top with a simple but yet powerful message of hope; a message of change. This is a man who is obsessed with change. A man possessed by hope for a better day for all people, an infectious possession by the way. Here is a man that is able to uplift people from their deepest depression. He is the very first president of any nation of the world to be loved so greatly by all people of the world. Everywhere he goes the reception is like a concert by the Beatles and Micheal Jackson combined with a display of immense love and passion. And only tonight he was, once again, received with an outstanding and overwhelming standing ovation by the US Congress.

But my contention is not about President Barrack Obama. I am here to pick a bone with all those who stand against the tide of change, all those who refuse to acknowledge this new dawn, all those who want 'business as usual', all those who put themselves before everyone else. Enough is enough. Change is here! Your wanton disregard for our collective interests will not be tolerated anymore. We are tired of your archaic and obsolete mindset. The world is moving forward, you either join this movement or be left behind and become a relic. I want to sound to you very clearly that, as postulated many years ago by a wise man, change is inevitable and it is coming! No one can prevent the tide of change that is sweeping through every nook and cranny of this world. This change is a Tsunami, an unstoppable and unavoidable movement! Who can stop a speeding train by standing in its path? Whether you like it or not, want it or not; change is coming. All you terrorists, mass murderers, destructive elements, monstrous thieving rulers from hell, vermin, racists, religious fanatics; all destructive elements in whatever guise, your end is here: change is come. Become part of this positive global change or vacate our earth. This earth will no longer accommodate anyone that will not commit to a positive change and growth. The world is now one global village where no nation, or man, or woman, or transvestite, is an island. No one can, and should, make any arbitrary decision without concern for their neighbor. We must respect each other. We must accept all people of all color and diversity. United we stand, divided we fall!

The annihilation of people in certain parts of the world continues in the hands of some criminals from hell who parade themselves as rulers, and perceive themselves as demi-gods to be worshiped. These criminals continue to perpetrate crimes ranging from genocide, to emasculation of the people, to widespread looting, to full scale deceit of the world, to tyranny, to an endless greed for power. They continue to perpetrate themselves on the people with a deranged stranglehold even when it is obvious that the people would rather be rid of them. But they should remember that 'those whom the gods want to kill are first made mad'. These rulers who refuse to relinquish power to people with human qualities must realize that their end is here; change is here. The world is witness to this. We have all read, or heard, or seen the ends of tyrants like Genghis Khan, to Adolf Hitler, to Samuel Doe, to Ibrahim Abacha, to Mobutu Sese Seko, to Sadam Hussein and to Jean-Bertrand Aristide. We have seen how poor downtrodden people jubilated at the downfall of these tyrants. Even when some of them died in power, the people celebrated wildly. Why would people rejoice at the death of a man? Your guess is as good as mine. We are waiting and praying zealously for those who assume ‘rulership’ or ‘leadership’ of a people is their birthright. We are tired. The world is tired of every form of tyranny. We must change and grow positively, moving forward.

Spread the word from valleys to mountain tops, from east to west, from north to south; change is inevitable and change is here. And yes we can change!

Half a word is enough for the wise. Over and out!

Marriage: Curse or Blessing?

After God made man he put him to a deep sleep; from his side, he took a rib with which he made woman – a help mate, a partner and a companion. He had made woman from man's side for a reason. God the almighty architect and infinite creator; the all knowing Alpha and Omega knew what he was doing when he chose to take a bone from man's side. He could have chosen to take a bone from his head or from his feet. But no. He took a bone from his side so woman would be man's equal. Man's complementary part. Man's other half. God did not take a bone from his head so woman would be over --or above – him. Neither did he take a bone from his feet so she would be under – or beneath – him. Woman was strategically made – by God – to be man's better half. Not man's master to lord over him, or man's slave to be trampled on.

These days people get married for multifarious reasons; some obvious, others completely unfathomable. Men and women enter all kinds of relationships for diverse reasons; some selfless, others selfish. Many people believe the most used word in the English Language is the three letter word: 'the', a preposition. I disagree with that belief. In my opinion, the most used word; albeit erroneously, is 'love', a noun, and a verb. That is, in fact, the most confused and overused term, or concept, in human history. Marriages are contracted and dissolved as easily as taking a shower. People get married in the morning and by noon they are divorced. And you ask yourself, why in the world did they get married in the first place? Was it worth it? The turmoil, the hardship, the pain and the embarrassment; especially for the unfortunate children of these ‘badly’ broken marriages – if there are any. Why would two consenting adults willingly enter an agreement to spend the rest of their lives together, and in no time renege on their commitment to the vows they openly take, or make, in front of their families and the whole world? Why? What is the driving force behind the high rate of divorces around the world? Is marriage a curse or a blessing? If it causes so much ache, why bother at all? Why subject yourself to such ridicule and psychological torture? Is it worth all the trouble? Why go through so much for nothing? The questions can go on and on, ad infinitum. Every adult man and woman, single, married, planning to be married, or not married, et al, is concerned about this fearsome institution. People always think about these burning, pertinent, questions. Parents get jittery when their children reach that age. Young adults develop some sort of phobia when you bring up the subject of marriage to their attention. Some people are so fazed by the whole thing that they choose to remain single all their lives. But should people do that? Should marriage be such a huge burden? Is it a curse or a blessing? But if God ordained it for his children then it must be good. It must be a blessing. God does not give anything bad. There are no half measures with God. He gives perfect gifts to his children. Not gifts with sorrow, tears and blood. If God ordained marriage, and it is a gift from Him, then what is wrong with the marriages today? Is there something we are doing wrong? Have we deviated from the original tenets of the marriage God designed for us? Perhaps we have, just like we deviated from all his other tenets. Maybe that is why there is so much marital tribulation today.

In those days in Africa, parents arranged marriages for their children. Two families will marry off their children even when the children in question had not met at all. Funny? Yes. But over ninety-five percent of those marriages worked. Ninety-five percent of such unions lasted till death did them apart. Today, even when two adults have dated, and been in a relationship for many years, they get married and still have all kinds of problems that result in a break up. A break up that can be really nasty and mind boggling. Some break ups have resulted in deaths, others have resulted in everlasting enmity. And you ask yourself, weren't these two supposedly happily married only a few months ago. What magic has turned their love into the overwhelming mutual hate? I mean the kind of hatred that make them ready to kill each other without thinking, without blinking an eyelid; the acme of hate. They suddenly want the other party to suffer as much as possible. They were in a long term relationship before marriage, a relationship that should have afforded them the privilege to know one another before the final plunge; a relationship that should have been the platform, or the basis, for the final plunge. But the marriage still breaks down even when the couple had known each other a long time. Then you wonder if it makes any sense when people say it is better for folks to know themselves first before they get married. The truth is, in my opinion, it does not matter how much time you have known the other person for a marriage with him or her to work. It is way beyond time. No doubt time is important, but it is not exactly everything. There are obviously a lot more important things. Many other requirements are necessary for a marriage to work. Simple things that many people take for granted can make or mar a relationship, or a marriage for that matter. Basic and fundamental things like truth, honesty, respect, accommodation, compromise etc, if you ask me; are a lot more important than how much time you have known the other person. Altruism is by far more important than length of time in any relationship. If you were born in the same hospital with some guy and you grow up together, attend the same schools and the same church, or temple, or mosque, for donkey years and you start a relationship it still may not work if there is no mutual respect for each other. Been around people all your life does not really make you know them. You can not really know any one that does not want you to know him or her. Most people project certain images of themselves, to different people, for different reasons, under different circumstances. Different situations bring out different attributes of people. You may have heard people say things like 'oh I never thought he could do that', 'I have lived with her for decades, she never remotely behaved like that', 'ah it is unbelievable, he could not possibly do a thing like that, I know him well' etc. People are shocked out of their wits on a daily basis when they hear things about certain people they believed they knew. You can never truly know any one, believe me. Not your father, or mother, or brother, or sister, or any one. No one! Not one person can you truly, completely, absolutely, know. As a matter of fact, many people do not even know themselves well enough. You will hear them say, 'I never thought I could do that, I don't know where the strength came from'. So many people go through life putting up different acts and attitudes that in the final analysis they forget who they truly are. They get confused by the maze of diverse behavior that makes up their life. They don't know who they are any more. And if you do not know yourself well enough, how would you then know what you want, or who you want to spend the remainder of your life with? Big question! Man, know thyself! That is the first thing to do. You must first know yourself. You must first take out the log in your eye so you can see well enough to be able to take out the lint in your partner's eye.

Please ask yourself this really simple question: Do I really know myself well? Do I know what I want? Or who I want to spend the remainder of my life with? Just go to a grocery store in your neighborhood and spend only thirty minutes observing the customers. You will be shocked at how confused a lot of people really are. You see them going round and round, picking up and dropping the same item over and over again. This is just a simple task of shopping for food, or other culinary item, and yet people are that confused, how about a complex task like choosing a life partner? Folks, your guess are as good as mine. Most people do not know what they want from life or from the people they meet and know. They just go through life, living everyday as it comes, a simple uncomplicated way to live, no doubt. But how far would you go like that? What plans, or goals, can you possibly achieve that way? The truth is there is nothing simple about being a human being. From conception, to birth, to childhood, to adolescence, to adulthood, is one long complicated journey. There is nothing anywhere near simple in man's existence. If you know anything simple about man, please let me know. Our lives are complicated from whatever angle you chose to see it from. Why, therefore, would you think the merging of two lives, a man and a woman, or a woman and a woman, or perhaps a man and a man; would be anything short of complicated? Marriage is indeed the most complex institution in the history, and life, of man. A workable, long-lasting, in fact, endless marriage is possible. But there can never be anything near a perfect marriage. Is marriage a curse or a blessing? This is relative! It depends on what part of the fence you are standing. To some it would be a curse, but to others it would no doubt be a blessing. Many countless marriages are contracted every day, and many innumerable divorces are granted every day, it all depends on what you want. And still there are a lot of people that will never get married as a matter of choice. A wise man said, 'You lie on your bed the way you make it'. This is true. Your marriage is like that too in a sense. What you put in, is what you get out. Now this is true for both parties involved. The onus is not on only one person at all. If the marriage works it is to the credit of the team, the man and the woman, or the same sex couple, as the case may be; and if it fails, it is the shame of both of them as well. A marriage is like a ‘two’ way traffic, cars come from both sides of the road. And if at any time the volume of cars increase on one side, there should be some means of preventing a jam. Cars can be routed through the other side tactfully to maintain a constant flow. That is how a marriage works. By compromise! Examples are being there for the other person during trying times, and being a pillar of strength when the other person is weak. Selflessness! A wise man wrote a song with the line 'lean on me when you are not strong'. But how many people would really be there in those terrible debilitating times? Most people opt out for divorce in those situations. They prefer to go their own way when what the other person really needs at that crucial, material, time is a shoulder to lean on, a pillar to draw strength from.

This little piece, written by my humble self, would not claim to be the magic marriages need to work. But it is an attempt at demystifying the overwhelming fear, if you may; of marriage. 'Marriage-phobia' does exist among us. It is a means to an end, a contribution toward the concerted effort by all and sundry to unravel the mystery of marriage. We need to realize the problems associated with marriages, the ‘whys’, ‘hows’ and ‘ifs’ that cripple this supposedly divinely ordained institution. The society would after all be a better place if there are not so many broken homes. Children will be better raised for one. There is an African saying that goes something like this: 'if those who are prayed for everyday do not turn out well, what would you expect from those that are cursed?' This means that if a child raised by both parents does not necessarily turn out well, what would you expect from a child raised by a single parent? It is obvious from statistical ratios that children from broken homes usually have emotional problems. They usually have trouble adjusting adequately. And maladjustment results in deviant attributes, and behavior. An increase in the number of working and respectable marriages is, and always would be, directly proportional to an increase in the number of well adjusted individuals in the society. This is because of the fact that apart from the negative effects of broken marriages on children, the man and the woman who suffers a broken marriage is also prone to suffer some untoward difficulty; which would both negate and pulverize their mental and physical capacity, that would invariably reduce their productive potential and inadvertently have adverse effect on the society in the long run. The family, as postulated by social scientists, is the smallest unit of our society. It is the platform, or forum, where we all first learn the rudiments of civil, or social, existence. It is every one's most primary, or basic, form of education, or school. The importance of the family in the life of a human being can not be overemphasized. Even lower animals have a sense, or semblance, of family structure. It is a paramount factor in our lives as a people. You can imagine, therefore, what amount of devastation an absence of the family can have on the life of a child. The role of the family in the adjustment, well-adjustment, of a child, should, and must, not be compromised. But several married couples get divorced in a split second without batting an eyelid, without any consideration whatever about their child's, or children's, welfare. It is not enough to provide food and shelter for children. What about their mental, psychological and spiritual well being? Certain people would say 'oh the child will be fine with a foster or step parent'. If you ask me, I would say that is balderdash! How many children really, and truly, derive any joy and satisfaction from a step parent? Is there a truly selfless step parent? Is there really a step parent with no deep-seated ill feeling towards a child that is not theirs? Most step parents, to be honest, would rather not have to contend with children that are not theirs. We have all heard countless tales of abusive step parents. The wanton physical, mental, and at times sexual abuse, cum maltreatment of children by some horrible minded step parent is wide spread and mind boggling.

Some separated or divorced persons would tell you, 'oh, I feel so happy since my separation or divorce. I wonder how I ever lived with him/her for that long'. Is this really true? Do you ask them when this self delusion would end? Do they tell you how many nights they cry themselves to sleep? Perhaps not. But I am not saying, 'stay married if there are irreparable differences'. No. Far from it! What I am saying is, are some of those differences not your fault? Couldn't you have prevented the mishap in the first place? All the ensuing pain and heartache could have been avoided if both parties had been truthful and honest and not selfish, self-effacing and self-serving. Many single people in the threshold of marriage would say things like, 'he/she has certain traits I am not exactly comfortable with, but I am sure that as soon as we are married and settled he/she would change'. Don't be a fool! Nothing removes the spots of an adult leopard. At the point where you choose to compromise that habit or attitude you are uncomfortable with is the point where you mortgage your happiness. It is the point where you accept to fail in the long run. It is the moment you actually get divorced even before the marriage is contracted. Whatever divorce you get afterwards, is only a formalization of that crucial decision making moment when you agreed to accept the other person with that bad, uncomfortable, attribute. I am not saying you should marry a flawless partner. There is in fact no one without faults. There is no perfect human being alive! The point is, only marry someone with faults you can live with. Not one with faults you assume will, per chance, disappear after the marriage. Do not expect some miraculous change! People do not change after their formative years. Most habits are actually set in stone, and when you attempt to change those habits set in stone, you break up the person, break up the relationship and break up the marriage. If you choose to pretend about the situation, after a while you will get fed up and want to run away. If the other person is compelled to change, they will pretend to for a while and when they get tired of living a lie; against their will, they will protest and everything will crumble. You see, it is the devil's alternative. Whichever way, the cookie will crumble eventually! My people say, 'do not taste food that you do not eat, believing you will get used to it. If you do not eat it, then you do not eat it'. You would only get sick from something you are allergic to. The Chinese say, 'do not go around a well in circles, jump in at once, for if you go around the well many times you will feel dizzy and fall in eventually'. A wise man said 'you can get away with deceiving other people, but not with deceiving yourself'. Half a word is enough for the wise. Over and out!

Yes we can!

Why not?

The entire world recently witnessed the historic event that happened in the United States of America. For the very first time ever, a man of African descent was elected President of the United States. This, my friends, without doubt, is a major lesson to this world. Without belaboring you with the details of this occurrence which I know you are all very familiar with, I would suffice it to mention that by God's grace your humble servant, Ernest Bhabor, was privy to many aspects of the process that led to the historic feat.

I have lived in the United States for some years now. I have worked, and still work, for the government of New York, NY for sometime. I was, and still am, a very staunch supporter of Barack Obama. I became his supporter, and a worker in his campaign, not just because he is of African descent; which of course played a part, but mostly because of his values, aspiration, and dream for the common man. Here is a brother who was the first African American president of the Harvard University Law Review; he graduated with high honors and had several offers to go work on Wall Street for several millions of dollars a year, but he turned all that down to pursue the cause of the common man. He started a movement that has become the most powerful catalyst for change in the United States of America. For those of you who do not live in the United States, believe me when I say nobody saw this coming. Nobody believed it could happen. In a nutshell, Martin Luther King's dream is coming alive. MLK's dream of justice, equality, same opportunity for all people of all color and creed is starting to come alive in America. For the first time, from my own personal experience, I see a huge wave of change sweeping through the United States.

I look at the foregoing and ask myself: Why not in Africa? Why can we not join hands together to create a wave strong enough to sweep through Africa; a wave of change? I will not bore you with the problems of Africa since I am aware of your vast knowledge of our collective issues. My desire is to elicit a strong discuss, and catapult a catalytic movement that would attack the problems head on, and proffer lasting solutions in the long run.

I believe we can. I believe this generation of Africans; our generation, a generation that has been described as 'a wasted generation', can successfully change Africa for the best. Yes we can! We have the intellect, the strength, and the might; what we need is collectivity and a strong determination to effect change, positive change. Yes we can revamp our continent! And we must as a matter of urgency! We only need to commit ourselves to uplifting our people from out of their abyss of disenfranchisement, we must commit to breaking our people free from the stranglehold of poverty, penury and lack! We must speak with one voice.

But I must make something very clear, I am not a politician, neither am I interested in pursuing any selfish or personal gain; I am only a social reformer, a catalyst for change. In the last couple of years I have been doing a research for a film project that would hopefully be made in New York sometime this year. During the course of my research that has spanned over two years, I have visited many states of the contiguous States of America, some parts of the Caribbean islands, several parts of Latin America, and a few parts of Europe. My research is on the massive subject of immigration, a topic that makes many people squirm uncomfortably. But the truth must be told. My result so far has been unanimous: from east to west, from north to south, professionals, artisans, laborers, from everyone; the word is the same -- immigrants would rather live in their native countries if their countries were better.

Now my question is: How can we make Africa a better place? We need solutions. We already know the issues. But can we really effect a change?

Yes we can!

Waiting

Today I want to share with you all a very special poem. I wrote this poem for my first son, Ernest Bhabor II, in whom I am well pleased; just before he was born.

WAITING

Nine months

Two hundred and seventy days

Two thirds of a year

We wait patiently.

We await the day

We await the divine moment

We await the shrill cry

We await the arrival

We wait earnestly.

Expectations

Excitement

Apprehension

A feeling of euphoria

A feeling of joy lurk around the corner waiting to break loose

We wait nervously.

A bright cleansing

A hymnal

A celebration of life is only a heartbeat away

We wait expectantly.

The harps

The drums

The cymbals

The flutes adorn every corner

Sweet fragrances scent the air

Stacked boxes of cigars form a mighty hill

We wait wide eyed.

We wait for the moment

We wait breathlessly for our blessing

We wait for our bundle of joy.

By Ernest Bhabor

For Ernest Bhabor II

What Is Man's Purpose on Earth?

Recently I stumbled on a book: The Shack By William P. Young on amazon.com, which happens to be one of my favorite stores. I looked at it and kept going, but something pulled me back to it. I decided to look at it more closely; I read the reviews and got interested. I bought it and downloaded it on my Kindle. I got interested not because I am very religious, which I am not, but because of my curiosity about the book's theme. I am a filmmaker and therefore naturally curious about new subjects, or new takes on popular subjects or topics. The theme of the book is in a nutshell about a personal relationship with God, God the father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit; although religion comes to mind automatically when you think of this topic, this book is indeed not religious at all. And, as I mentioned, I am not deeply religious, in fact, I am not religious at all. I believe in God wholeheartedly, always have, always will; an irony you might say, since I claim that I am not religious and all. But truly, I am not religious at all, I just believe in God immensely; and Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. Perhaps I should give you a little background about me.

Although today I can say I am a proud citizen of the United States of America, I was born and raised in Nigeria, in the Niger Delta Region. I went to a Catholic elementary school, and a Catholic High School. I was an altar boy for many years. I was indeed very close to going to the Seminary to become a Priest. As a matter of fact, many of my child hood friends became Catholic Priests. And for many years, as a practicing Catholic, I questioned a lot of things I observed growing up in the Catholic church. I had a lot of reservations about some of the practices et al. But I always defended the Catholic church often times against criticisms from friends who were muslims, or baptists, or witnesses. Although I had my personal reservations, I was still quick to stand up for the church. But by the time I went off to college in Ibadan, Nigeria I was already drifting away from the Catholic church gradually; I only went to mass every now and then, not as constantly as before. The University of Ibadan, my Alma mater, had, and perhaps still has, a very beautiful Catholic Chapel; I only went there a few times. I was practically forcing myself to go to mass, an unusual thing I must say. I was struggling with my belief in the teachings and practices of the Catholic church, although I would rather not go into details at this time. Although I was drifting away from the church itself, I was still very much in tune with the fact that God created the heavens and the earth, and that He sent His only begotten son Jesus Christ to die for my sins, our sins. I kid you not, I am a sinner. Always have been. But by God's grace, through His son, I am saved. I have always believed in God. I just do not subscribe to all the man made rules of religion. Some specific events in my life have proven God's existence, might, and presence in my life. An example is when I arrived at the University of Ibadan years ago. I was confronted with the possibility of being homeless, so far away from home. Because in those days, possibly today as well, it was easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a student to find accommodation on campus. Literally. I had no choice but to close my eyes and pray, believe it or not; I got a room by a chance of ten thousand to one. Before that, on the final exams in high school--the West African School Certificate (WASC)--I registered for eight subjects like everyone else but ran to the principal's office the following morning to add one more subject--Christian Religious Knowledge (CRK), for fear that I would fail if I do not pick that subject. I was the only one to ever attempt that many subjects in one exam in that school. Everyone tried to dissuade me, even my parents. But to cut a long story short, I prayed and did extremely well with several distinctions. JAMB--College entrance exam--was the same story. Coming to America was the same story. God has always come through for me in spite of my sinful nature and a lack of religion. I have always believed in communicating with God directly and personally. But the big turning point in my life was in college when I met a Scripture Union girl on campus. I was smitten by her, I followed her everywhere, fellowship and all. I started studying the bible differently; and you can say scales fell off my eyes. Literally. I quit the Catholic church completely and never looked back since then.

I have gone to different churches in the last few years. Baptist, Pentecostal, etc. I have met some true believers, I have associated with some real followers of God; although I am not judging anyone since I have neither the wisdom nor the authority to do so, I have also met some people who have not exactly encouraged me in the pursuit of God, and knowledge of God. But be it as it may, I still maintain that personal connect with God. I do not believe anyone can take you to God. That is a personal choice, and personal chore. You must do it on your own. But coming back to the book: The Shack by William P. Young; I could not put it down even for a moment. I could not help myself. It is a compelling story about an everyday guy's relationship with God. I can not say enough about the book, neither can I give away the plot. But I beseech you to read it. I promise, you will never think of God the same way again. The book opens your eyes to a whole new concept of our existence, our purpose on earth. It makes you remember everything you have ever wondered about, spiritually; it opens your life in front of you like a movie. It is a must read.

We can discover Man's Purpose on Earth.

Yes We Can!